(The defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history as shown by the ideas and beliefs of the time)
*Scribbling in a doctor’s notebook: “Patient reports reoccurring feelings of vague dissatisfaction.”* Is this just what being 52 feels like or is it merely the zeitgeist I see in my funhouse mirrors of the self, giving myself a little scare, just for fun?
From 18 onward, felt I could live anywhere and eke out a living doing anything. As Mick Foley, the motivational speaker from Saturday Night Live skits would say: Teens feel like they “have the world by the tail.”
A more recent take is: “Have you ever met a teenager who _didn’t_ think they were the smartest person in the room?” But then again, that’s what we were told and sold by our families, advertisements and sitcoms.
But realistically, no.
Why did we buy in so hard? Was that because of the inherent safety net of the ability to “come home?” After all “Mama (Granny, Mammie, Auntie) loves you” no matter what, even with my on-the-spectrum-ness, astigmatism, uncoordinated, non-symmetrical, daydreamer-self.
I always felt, if not wanted at home, at least, welcomed. That feeling is gone.
Now 92, Mama is merely present physically, having lost her clout with the other birds in the nest (my siblings). My incel brother who lives on the family land with his hoarding, shouting, and mood-swings. My sister, just across the road, with her neat and tidy life, focused on the almighty dollar, lists, and schedules, and maintaining a solid Christian, conservative veneer.
Infinite Monkey Theorem 